See part 1, "Dementia: What Dickens Knew"
See part 3, Dementia: 12 Books I R3ecommend"
Not content with the diagnosis and treatment my father was receiving at his assisted living home, I made an appointment for him to have a medical evaluation at the Cleveland Clinic. This is a brief summary of our original three appointments five years ago and an update.
THE FIRST APPOINTMENT
At
our first appointment at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Geriatric Medicine,
we met with Dr. F, who asked Dad why he was there, what he wanted. My father,
who seldom cries, said through tears that he wanted to go home.
And
who could blame him. He had spent six weeks in skilled nursing, where he had
been unceremoniously dropped off from a hospital analysis for a stroke, which hospital
testing records show he did not have. Six weeks is how long Medicare would pay for ensuing rehab care. It was not a good place and has since been shut
down.
His
roommate had been dying of a painful skin cancer, and he moaned a lot. To
block the noise, the staff left the man’s TV on at a volume above his moans,
24-hours a day. The fact that my father was able to sleep at all is a tribute to his incapacity for insomnia. He has always slept like the proverbial rock unlike his insomniac wife and eldest daughter.
One day, when I was visiting, the man’s son met with his father on
behalf of the family, to ask him to give up treatment. The man did not want to
go that route, and the son pointed out that under the doctor’s orders, he
wouldn’t be able to have his nightly drink, and the son couldn’t imagine the
father wanting to lead a life like that. An hour later, other family members
and the doctor came in to pitch the man on giving up treatment. This whole conversation was carried on in our hearing, a thin curtain between, and when I tried to leave with Dad, I was told he had to stay in his room. Nothing was
ever said about hospice or pain management, which I could not see that the man was
getting beyond turning up the volume on the TV. He died a few days later, at
night, in the room with my father.
After the six weeks were up, Dad had moved into an Assisted Living
apartment, but he was not happy there.
Dr.
F said that they would proceed slowly, set up an appointment for the next month
to assess Dad’s memory loss. He told us that while Alzheimer’s could not yet be
determined till autopsy, they had a battery of tests that could ascertain where
in the brain the loss was occurring, and that would provide an indication of
what kind of dementia we were dealing with, if that is what we were dealing
with since other things cause such memory failures and too often don’t get
diagnosed. Then, the third month, whatever they determined Dad was capable of,
they would get set up for him to do, including going back to his home, if he
wanted.
“And
I want to drive,” Dad said.
“Okay,”
Dr. F answered. “If you are able to do that, there is a place in Youngstown
where you could go to brush up on your skills, since it has been some weeks
since you have driven.”
With
a touch of anger he seldom expresses, my father said, “I never had an accident
or a ticket my whole life.”
And
then, in a gesture and tone of kindness I will never forget, Dr. F leaned
forward, placed his hand lightly on Dad’s forearm, looked him right in the eye,
and said, “Mr. Kendig, no one here is criticizing your driving in the past in
the least. Never having a ticket or an
accident in all those years is a very good record. What we want to do is make
sure that you can manage safely now, for yourself and for others.” His calmness dissipated Dad’s irritation.
The
doctor looked over Dad’s list of medications and pointed out that two could be
discontinued, especially the Aricept, as they would be testing for dementia at
the next appointment. He wrote orders to the home to cancel those two
medications.
As
we left that afternoon, my father was smiling in the cold Cleveland January sun
as he said to me, “He listened to me. No one listens to me any more. He really
listened.”
THE SECOND APPOINTMENT
Since I didn't go into the testing rooms, I
don’t have much to report from this day. Dad and I showed up in the
waiting room and sat with families getting active sons tested for
behavioral issues, a woman getting tested after an accident, and other elders like my father. Dad's psychometrist, a young woman, whisked Dad away
and told me to come back at lunch time, which I did. After lunch, we returned for another
hour and a half of testing, and then we left for the day with an appointment for the
following month.
THE THIRD APPOINTMENT
Our
third and final appointment, we were back in Dr. F's office. In the
interim, his staff by phone had guided me through the process of
enabling Dad to get off the two prescriptions which they
felt were unnecessary.
Dr. F first reviewed the results of the February tests. In short, Dad clearly had mild to moderate memory loss. It was located in a different part of the brain than Alzheimer's memory loss, and Dr. F thought Dad was probably experiencing vascular dementia, from a heart attack he had had in the 1990's. Dr. F also noted that at Dad's age, the chances of developing Alzheimer's increased exponentially every five years, and the psychologist had suggested that the family contact the Alzheimer's organization for information for the future.
Meanwhile, Dr. F said Dad had been paying bills and getting to appointments and perhaps with some assistance, Dad could return to his home if he wanted. At this point, where would he like to live? To my surprise, Dad said he wanted to stay in his Assisted Living apartment and he was content with not driving. And yet, it wasn't too surprising. He had been lonely since Mom's death, and he was appreciated as quite the character he is in his new home.
That established, Dr. F moved onto treatment. Basically his general philosophy seemed to be to avoid as much medicine as possible and to get physical exercise. It seemed simple, and though it hasn't always been, it beats a lot of side effects of medicine.
In
fact, Dr.
F is a well-known advocate for exercise for seniors. He asked Dad about
getting exercise, and while Dad had been very active before going into
the
Senior Residence, he was not allowed to walk outside there. He was being
considered an escape risk since his unhappy skilled nursing days and
the only exercise
routine there was very minimal—head rolls and finger stretching. So the doctor wrote
orders for Dad to walk a mile a day. (When we returned to the facility, the administrative nurse was actually pleased with that order and offered to walk with Dad the first week.)
And he told Dad to cut down
on his eating, not to cut out anything but
just cut down. I had to smile as those had been my mother's orders for
Dad at many times in his life, one sandwich instead of two in his
lunch box, for example. (And Dad really took the doctor's words to
heart, as he had taken Mom's, and cut out all the snacks
that were being perpetually served in his residence.)
Dad was to return
in six months and see how his health and his memory loss were going.
SIX MONTHS LATER
In
the six month appointment that followed, the Clinic's informal memory
test showed Dad holding his own, no change, as did the tests a year later. Clearly,
he had some dementia, but it wasn't progressing, and he
maintained his personality and his memory for the people in his life. He was walking a mile a day, and he had lost eight pounds.
FIVE YEARS LATER, an update
This
morning, five years later, my neighbor thanked me for recommending
the Cleveland Clinic for her
daughter-in-law’s elderly father, whom she thought was being over-medicated by
his local physician. “They took him totally off two of his medications and
pointed out several others which did not have to be taken daily, as he was
taking them, but only as needed. And they recommended exercise.” The family despaired that their father would ever exercise, but he shocked them all by taking up Dr. F's recommendation to walk daily. It has increased his strength so that he can get down and up and around better than before, and he feels better. They are beginning family discussions of how he would like his life to go from here.
Less
medicine, more exercise: the same recommendation Dad got seems almost too simple a prescription from such a famous institute of health...except it has worked for him and many elders.
Now, at 90, Dad has gotten five good years out of that advice, when
otherwise, he might have been over-medicated and bound to a walker or a wheelchair, as is almost everyone else in his residence. He has lost half a point on the memory index, but that seems great for five years. We'll take it. The bad news is that the institution has totally discouraged walking, and his weight is back up, which wouldn't be so bad in itself except his breathing is labored and he misses the walks.
He comes once or twice a week to his former house which I bought and live in and where we have dinner together and he watches the baseball game or the hopeless Browns. (Thank goodness LeBron is back.) We go to the farmer's market or a concert or to Sippo Lake, which he helped to establish as a county park in his years on the zoning board. He has been to two of his WWII biennial reunions in Cleveland and Savannah (and New Orleans coming up!) He has been to every yearly Pro-Football Hall of Fame Parade here in Canton and one of the games, and he flew on the last Honor Flight out of Canton to Washington, D.C. He sings in a choir and leads a discussion at his assisted living place; he refuses to play bingo despite entreaties to join in.
One of my high school teachers said to me recently, "I couldn't believe it. I walked into your dad's place, and he knew me right away, said, 'Hi, Louie!'" Of course he does. He has seen nearly all of Louie's past 50 musical productions. He loved this year's production of The Adam's Family. He recalls the names of most people from his past when he sees them, including most of the 50 of the people who showed up for his 90th birthday party at Sippo Lake. And he recalls the names of few to none of the people in his residence, including the three women he plays cards with every weekday evening.
A lot of this is luck, I know. A story on NPR this week cites a new study showing women to be more vulnerable than men to Alzheimer's, both in acquiring it and declining faster with it. And several men and women have come, worsened, and gone from Dad's residence to Memory Care and death in his time there.
So I don't mean to suggest that getting off medicine and taking a walk is going to work for everyone. As my sister was in decline with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, we were stunned by the unkindness of the stories of people who survived it just by believing, or by having God on their side. One acquaintance told her that her church had just "prayed away" the cancer of one congregation member. As if Daun's church-- which was bringing food, providing rides to treatment 90 minutes away, and Lord know, praying-- just weren't praying enough? If wanting to live could cure cancer, then single-parent of a beloved five-year-old Daun could have bottled and sold her struggle. But in and of itself, wanting to beat a disease is not always enough necessarily, and it is a terrible betrayal of those brave people who have not survived the disease to suggest that they just didn't try hard enough.
What I do mean is that getting medical assessment is important, and not the assessment of nursing home doctors, some of whom are incredibly competent and caring (my husband's aunt had one of those), some of whom are just on the take, and some of whom are just incompetent. If you wouldn't diagnose your parent's cancer yourself, don't diagnose their type of dementia. A news story this week cites that 60% of dementias are Alzheimer's, and 20% of them are misdiagnosed. Misdiagnosis can have terrible repercussions, as I witnessed in two devastating cases with the elderly.
My Dad has luck and genes going for and against him when it comes to dementia. At least six of his 11 siblings have died with dementia, as did his father. Monitoring medicine and staying active has helped him for now. Dad reminds me so much of his father, whom I recall as a very quiet old Grandpa, working in his basement every day, living next door to my aunt, taking long walks, and always smiling and chuckling softly when we spoke to him, the respected elder of our family. For that memory and for whatever memory Dad has today, I remain grateful.
In my next blog, I plan to share a list of some books that have informed me in helping to care for my my dad, and before that, my mother and my sister.
So I don't mean to suggest that getting off medicine and taking a walk is going to work for everyone. As my sister was in decline with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, we were stunned by the unkindness of the stories of people who survived it just by believing, or by having God on their side. One acquaintance told her that her church had just "prayed away" the cancer of one congregation member. As if Daun's church-- which was bringing food, providing rides to treatment 90 minutes away, and Lord know, praying-- just weren't praying enough? If wanting to live could cure cancer, then single-parent of a beloved five-year-old Daun could have bottled and sold her struggle. But in and of itself, wanting to beat a disease is not always enough necessarily, and it is a terrible betrayal of those brave people who have not survived the disease to suggest that they just didn't try hard enough.
What I do mean is that getting medical assessment is important, and not the assessment of nursing home doctors, some of whom are incredibly competent and caring (my husband's aunt had one of those), some of whom are just on the take, and some of whom are just incompetent. If you wouldn't diagnose your parent's cancer yourself, don't diagnose their type of dementia. A news story this week cites that 60% of dementias are Alzheimer's, and 20% of them are misdiagnosed. Misdiagnosis can have terrible repercussions, as I witnessed in two devastating cases with the elderly.
My Dad has luck and genes going for and against him when it comes to dementia. At least six of his 11 siblings have died with dementia, as did his father. Monitoring medicine and staying active has helped him for now. Dad reminds me so much of his father, whom I recall as a very quiet old Grandpa, working in his basement every day, living next door to my aunt, taking long walks, and always smiling and chuckling softly when we spoke to him, the respected elder of our family. For that memory and for whatever memory Dad has today, I remain grateful.
In my next blog, I plan to share a list of some books that have informed me in helping to care for my my dad, and before that, my mother and my sister.